Crabs in the Bitch/Ditz bucket

Amanda Fortini had a good idea, in her provocatively titled, “The Bitch and the Ditz” piece in the New York Magazine. She began by rightly pointing out that in this so-called “Year of the Woman”, those “two most pernicious sexist stereotypes” against women were used this campaign cycle, and that the effect of their use has “actually set women back”.

Unfortunately, she then proceeds to describe Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin as living up to those stereotypes, and that is when her message veered off the feminist road and over the cliff of stereotypical reinforcement.

She criticizes the way Hillary campaigned, and quotes, for some reason that escapes me, Tucker Carlson’s infamous insult “Every time I hear Hillary Clinton speak, I involuntarily cross my legs.” Like we needed to be reminded of his castration phobia, which says a hell of a lot more about Carlson than about Clinton! Me, I like the idea that a smug status quo opinion purveyor for the mainstream media felt threatened by a powerful woman. Go Hillary!

Fortini also drags up those lies that were debunked weeks ago about Palin, as “proof” that she reinforced the stereotype. Nowhere in her article does she write about the huge crowds Palin drew, or the way she inspired so many people who were uninspired by McCain’s candidacy. She is the reason many registered Democrats crossed over (estimates are the number could be as high as 10 million) to vote for their ticket. Had registered Republicans turned out for McCain as they did for Bush, we’d be inaugurating the first woman VP!

Both Clinton and Palin are intelligent and accomplished women, who are successful through their own efforts, and with the support of a majority of the voters in their states. They would not have been able to do so if they were truly bitches and ditzes.

Patriarchy tries to disempower women is by diminishing them with scurrilous labels. History is full of examples of women being dismissed as hysterical, angry, dumb, clueless, and the papering on of these negative images obscure the real people beneath them.

Sadly, women don’t even know how to talk about these issues. Too many lack the imagination to put into words what has happened, because we don’t have language for it. These are new experiences!…

Fortini’s article could have been a strong piece that made a statement about what really happened to these two remarkable women. Instead, it was more of the same tired old “blinders on” media spin about how (fill in the blank with something derogatory) Clinton is and how (do it here to!) Palin is, instead of focusing on how these ugly stereotypes were floated, nurtured, embellished, protected, reinforced, and became barriers between these two women and the public.

That Hillary blew past the bitch label and buried Obama at the ballot box in the primaries because men, those traditional bitch-haters, voted for her rather than for him has been totally ignored in the postmortems on this election.

Or that in the week after the election, we were treated to interview after interview of Sarah Palin on camera, talking off the cuff, often while making something in the kitchen, and sounding coherent, knowledgeable, humorous, and very much like the leader that she is, rather than the caricature that the media drew of her during the campaign.

Women have to speak up when we see other women being pushed into the bitch box, the ditz box, the mommy box, or any other limiting characterization that does not take into account the totality of a woman’s personality.

Fortini, nice try. But rather than look through the stagnant lens of the past, try seeing what is actually in front of you. Those two women have created a new archetype for women in power that is engaging, inspiring, and reassuring. If more of us had the courage to write the new narrative, we would find that the recent election actually did a lot for women. But the narrative of successful and powerful women, smart and accomplished candidates, trail-blazers and vote magnets, remains largely unwritten.

Fortini’s piece, like many of the articles written recently, reminds me of a story, based on behavior in nature.

One time a man was walking along the beach and say another man fishing in the surf with a bait bucket beside him. As he drew closer, he saw that the bait bucket had no lid and had live crabs inside.
“Why don’t you cover your bait bucket so the crabs won’t escape?”, he said.
“You don’t understand.”, the man replied, “If there is one crab in the bucket it would surely crawl out very quickly. However, when there are many crabs in the bucket, if one tries to crawl up the side, the others grab hold of it and pull it back down so that it will share the same fate as the rest of them.”

So it is with people.

That is why women must put down the glasses that see other women in patriarchal ways, and instead, see the new narrative, write about it, celebrate it, and protect it, because there are a whole lot of crabs out there trying to keep us in the bucket.

Dangerous Game

Obama met with Hillary Clinton on Thursday, to discuss the possibility of her becoming the Secretary of State. Now, this is the same Hillary that he did not vet *at all* for VP. But now, he is “looking at her” for SoS…

if this is posturing, it is a dangerous game to play. There are many women who feel the best candidate – who happened to be a woman – being skipped over for VP was a slap in the face of all women. Will the “hope and change” guy deliver on the gender make-up of his cabinet?

If he floats her name, then chooses a man, no one should be surprised. But it would be a further insult to the highest profile female leader in this country today. She campaigned tirelessly for him. If this leak of her name is a trial balloon, or meant as a sop to those who were outraged at his choice of Biden, it is patronizing in the extreme.

In a November 7 posting Lynette Long notes that Bush’s cabinet of 15 people contains 4 women (Condoleeza Rica the current SoS, Elain Chao SoLabor, Mary Peters as SoTransportation, and Margaret Spellings, SoEducation. Seven other people also attend cabinet meetings, and one of those is Susan Schwab, U.S. Trade Secretary. That means 23% of those in the meeting are female. Since women comprise the majority of population, and women swung the election for Obama, will he increase that figure? Or will he decrease it?

In his campaign, there were more men in leadership positions than women. He paid women less than the men. I am not hopeful that his new cabinet will reflect anything different, but we really do not know what he will do.

But back in March, had my suspicions…

Scapegoat

Women delivered the presidency to Obama with our votes. In a rambling op-ed at the Boston Globe’s website, Ellen Goodman, provides the numbers that show how women in swing states made the difference. Goodman’s point was that women vote for agenda, not gender. But the way she made her point is far more telling. She devotes the majority of her piece to unnecessary Palin-bashing, including ridiculing the way the Governor speaks and, of course, what would a mainstream media piece be without bringing up the clothes and restating the unsubstantiated rumors and lies allegedely coming from the McCain campaign, about Palin. Perhaps Goodman missed that MSNBC had to apologize yesterday for their role in failing to verify information and instead rushing it out to the airwaves, thus spreading out and out lies…

Goodman’s op-ed is a classic example of how women tear down other women, even when there is no need and it serves no purpose.

I left the following comments on the Globe website:

I came across your piece and was interested by the title. Yet when I started reading it, I had to look up again to be sure I’d followed the correct link. I studied journalism and know that a well constructed story has as its lead its most powerful piece of information. If your story is about agenda, not gender, you missed the mark.

Instead we are treated to yet another round of Palin-bashing that rambles on for four paragraphs, in case, I guess, we didn’t “get it” that you voted for Obama and don’t like Palin.

But when you FINALLY made your point, buried in the middle of the piece, it was a very interesting one. I find it terrible disappointing to see that so many women are still throwing their votes away, on candidates who aren’t going to do a thing to help us, unless there is a gun to their head of some metaphorical kind. Obama remained silent when the two women running against his ticket were bashed and slashed by the media, and in Senator Clinton’s case, by her own Party. He knew he could do that because he knew women were more inclined to tear down another woman than expect a man to stand up for sexism. And you who voted for him proved that right.

Your op-ed, perhaps unintentionally, was the perfect example of your story’s theme – agenda over gender. You embody in your own words exactly why women are underrepresented in every area of life. It is that need to tear down another woman unnecessarily, to ridicule and diminish someone, while trying to elevate yourself.

I do commend you for closing with an important point about the historic nature of Palin’s run – how she has transformed the landscape for the Republican party. It’s just unfortunate that you had to bring up the clothes again as an ending since, as everyone knows who has been paying attention this week, she didn’t ask for them and does not possess them.

Perhaps the day will come when all women, you included, Ms. Goodman, will realize that while we snipe at each other, and hold each other back, men continue to dominate politics and run our country. And it may be another 24 years before any major Party puts another woman on its ticket. That is nothing for women to be proud of, in my opinion.

Sarah Palin – Role Model for All Feminists

The following was posted as a comment at HuffPost, in response to an article written, unfortunately, by a woman. The article was called “Sarah Palin – Role Model for Anti-Feminists”

Comment: Women will get nowhere as long as people like you seem to think you own the definition of Feminism. Being a Feminist is about wanting to improve life for all women, to improve our representation at every level. Important steps forward for all women can be made by any woman, even a Republican. We need to join together around what unites us and stop tearing each other down. Posts like yours serve only to keep those who think like you from seeing that Palin is raising visibility for all of us. You don’t have to agree with her positions to appreciate that there is a new leader on the stage in the U.S. and it is a woman. That is exciting.

Many of us who consider ourselves Feminists believe she joins Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, and other visible women leaders. She is not in competition with them or undercutting them. She is one of them. She is one of us. Perhaps one day you will let go of your partisanship and last century’s definition of what it means to be a feminist, and embrace other women, rather than cut them down.
Read the Article at HuffingtonPost

The Double Standard

Women need to speak up when we are faced with double standards, you know, the kinds of things that seem to only apply or be expected of us, because we are women. During the U.S. presidential campaign, the mainstream media went crazy with rumors about clothes, without finding out the truth before they reported anything. But were they looking at everyone’s clothes? Everyone’s makeup people and stylists? No. Only Governor Palin’s. Only the woman’s.

Here’s her comments from Larry King’s show on November 12:

“Here is something, we took a little bit of criticism of she has somebody doing her makeup before she goes on stage. Who is paying for that? Is this a reflection of who she as a hard working every day American hockey mom from Wasilla, Alaska, is this who she is? Kind of a double standard there, Larry, because I have never heard still the other ticket have been asked who is doing their makeup before they go on stage. Who is making sure that their tie is straight, and ready to head out there to do a speech? A little bit of a double-standard, but again a little bit of an annoyance there.

The whole clothes issue, that’s part of the periphery, kind of the pettiness that was involved in the campaign that had absolutely nothing to do with policies, plans, records, values, convictions, kind of ridiculous.”

Raising these periphery issues with women, from Palin’s clothes to Clinton’s hair and pantsuits trivializes them. It makes the image of them less than it is. They become those caricatures, rather than fully human people. It makes it harder for their words to be heard, their ideas to be shared, and their goals for the country to be understood.

Speak up and speak out when someone tries to smother another woman’s ideas by shifting the topic to her hair, clothes, voice, or body. Don’t let anyone trivialize you or any other woman.

Palin on Greta van Sustern’s show

Letting the cameras roll, Greta allowed us to watch and listen to long, unedited dialogues between herself and Governor Sarah Palin.

What a far different vision we got of this calm, intelligent, and engaging person than the cobbed-together-to-make-her-look-bad “interviews” offered by Gibson and Couric. Transcripts of the actual interviews show how badly those “shots” were taken out of context, with the purpose of making her look foolish.

Anyone who used those bogus interviews as the basis of forming an opinion of Sarah Palin owes it to themselves to visit the Fox link above, or watch and see for themselves. You were had.

We must become more discerning, and give other women the benefit of the doubt, especially when it comes to what the mainstream media tells us or shows us.

Any representation of a woman that seems more like a caricature than a real person needs to be viewed with a jaded eye. It’s probably bogus. This is how women are portrayed too often – to look confused, foolish, and uninformed. Don’t buy it anymore, people. Don’t let the media control how we experience other women. Do some research and decide for yourself!

Samantha Harris, Wake up!

“Dancing with the Stars” is a great show for many reasons. Fun format, great costumes, wonderful dancing, and excellent hosts. Ms. Harris does a very good job of co-hosting with Tom Bergeron… but…

She can’t seem to keep from making insulting comments to the women pros. Worse yet, I don’t think she realizes she is doing it! Last week it was about Edyta, the professional partner paired with young Cody Linley. Harris’ junior high school gushing to ask how he feels about dancing with a half naked woman embarassed Cody and insulted Edyta. Last night it was using the card in her hand to denote the area of both Julianne’s and Edyta’s bodies, to mumble something about all men wishing they were in Cody’s place. For goodness sake, Samantha, it sounds so smutty!

Edyta isn’t a Maxim model (something on Harris’s resume…). She is a professional dancer, and the costumes she wears are to accentuate the movements. it is a part of the ballroom world, and they are not designed to titillate little boys.

Cody looked flustered to have to answer such a wink-wink question, asked by an adult, who isn’t shy about her own cleavage.

Edyta just stands there, gamely smiling, and probably wishing she could bring one of those high heels down on Harris’s foot!

Join us in contacting ABC to demand that they remind Harris that the women she is interacting with are professional dancers, not pole dancers, and off-color comments about their bodies should be jettisoned from the show!

What is this?

On November 11, 2008, this blog is being launched as a place for women to gather and share our experiences. Our focus is on Feminism – which we define as uniting and supporting women, with the goal of improving the quality of life for women and increasing our representation in every area, from politics to sports to culture.

Women are the majority but we still have minority status. Please read the “About” page for more information. If you feel called to post here on your own life experiences, and you are a woman, you are welcome to register as a guest writer.